Lately I've been on the up and up considering the last year being one of the hardest in my life. Today I relapsed into a that self pity mode most of us know too well. My life from the start has been a hard road. It's hard not to feel cheated at times.
The Lord in His mighty yet gentle way always reminds me of the verse that I've clung to through the years:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (empasis mine)
There are times (they are few and far between) that I can barely get myself ready in the morning on Sunday to go to church. There is such a deep sadness that there is a lump in my throat, and tears welling up ready to spill over down my face. I'm squeezing my fists resisting the urge to cry right there in front of the entire congregation.
It makes me wonder who else is feeling the same things, but is compelled to restrain them. Perhaps it is too personal and they just need a warm embrace. It's hard to tell since we're all trained early on to contain our problems.
I don't understand why we have to enter church like all is well with our smiling Disney mask all the time. What is the point? We need to be real! Life is not a show and the church is suppose to be our santuary; a place of not only worship, but of fellowship, refreshment, encouragment and confessing to one another...real stuff.
...not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25
But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. 2 Corinthians 7:6-7
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
This 4 minute sermon clip describes these real emotions and our need to cling to truth.
