To Be Sober Minded: What Kind of Woman Am I?

A few years ago, I received the below list of wisdom from an older woman who got it from her older woman. When I taught Titus 2 a few years back,  many people who I would invite would say, "I don't want to be a doormat!" God does not call us to be such a thing. When I read the women of scripture, there was no woman of God that I would call a "doormat".  I've known women who are notorious doormats and they can be very manipulative with their loved ones by being the family martyr. I can see how many women will run from submissiveness because of the distortion of it being modeled perhaps from their own mothers. They are just as self seeking as an outright contentious woman. I can be both those women at times more than I realize. Here is a list of "The Doormat Woman", "The Contentious Woman" and "The Sober Minded Woman of God".  I've gleaned so much from this list over the years and it never seizes to convict me.




The Doormat Woman:

• Motive: People Pleaser
• Heart Attitude: Fear and Guilt
• Rights: Doesn't feel she has any
• Responsibilities: Feels responsible for everything and everyone
• Emotions and Self Control: Highly emotional, prone to fear and self-pity
• Love Relationships: Being accepted is more important than being loving and truthful
• Needs: Lets needs and feeling of others rule over her life
• Discernment: Only wants to see strengths, not weaknesses in others
• Dealing with Shortcomings: Overly disappointed when sees weaknesses, often devastated
• Truth: Afraid to be truthful for fear of angry consequences
• Submission: Misunderstands submission
• Power: Feels powerless and intimidated
• Offense: Stuff offense - stays unresolved

The Contentious Woman

• Motive: "...unto self"
• Heart Attitude: Resentful
• Rights: Recognizes rights and demands them
• Responsibilities: More concerned with rights than responsibilities
• Emotions and Self Control: Highly emotional and prone to fear, resentment and anger
• Love Relationships: Being right is more important than being loving
• Needs: Preoccupied with her own feelings and needs
• Discernment: Only sees weaknesses
• Dealings with Shortcomings: Critical and judgemental when weakness is revealed
• Truth: Offers truth through blaming and demands change
• Submission: Resents and rejects submission
• Power: Wants her own power
• Offense: Is quick to be offended

The Sober Minded Woman of God

• Motive: "...unto God"
• Heart Attitude: Cheerful and willing
• Rights: Recognizes rights and lays them down
• Responsibilities: More concerned with responsibilities than rights
• Emotions and Self Control: In touch with feelings, but not controlled by them
• Love Relationships: Being loving is more important than being right
• Needs: Listens carefully and is sensitive to the needs of others, but not ruled by them
• Discernment: Sees both weaknesses and strengths, but accepts person
• Dealings with Shortcomings: Edifies, encourages and strengthens when weaknesses show
• Truth: Offers truth and petitions out of love
• Submission: Embraces submission
• Power: Focuses on God's power and her own powerlessness
• Offense: Slow to be offended, willing to admit and resolve it when it occurs